A Wife’s Birthday Surprise

Help!  It’s Melissa’s Birthday tomorrow and I’m at a loss.  She doesn’t like surprises.  She doesn’t plan to take off of work.  Last year I mistakenly took her hunting.  It was Saturday morning as I woke up raring to go bag the first deer of the season. I walked into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to my surprise I find my wife, Melissa, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.  I asked her, “What are you up to?” She smiled, “I’m going hunting with you!”  Even though I had many reservations about this, reluctantly I decided to take her along.  It was her birthday weekend after all.  Three hours later we arrived at a game preserve. I set my lovely wife safely up in the tree stand and told her, “If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I’ll come running back as soon as I hear the shot.” I walked away with a smile on my face knowing that Melissa couldn’t bag an elephant – much less a deer. Not 10 minutes pass when I am startled as I hear an array of gunshots.  Quickly, I started running back. As I got closer to her stand, I heard Melissa screaming, “Get the heck away from my doggone deer!”  Confused and frightened, I raced faster toward my screaming wife.  And again I heard her yell, “I said get the heck away from my doggone deer!” followed by another volley of gunfire!  Now within sight of where I had left my wife, I am surprised to see the Florida game warden with his hands high in the air.  The game warden, obviously distraught, yelled, “Okay, lady! You can have your doggone deer, just let me get my saddle off of it!”

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